The Magnetic Fields - Realism

Realism is positioning itself as some kind of addendum piece against the Fields' last release, Distortion, a beautifully constructed Jesus And Mary Chain-influenced fuzz-toned jam which painted its portraits against the backdrop of a snowed-out unreceptive television. I think all Stephin Merritt fans understood that this was a one-off experiment for the group and that he would, in the future, continue experimenting with his baroque pop sensibilities and Leonard-Cohen-on-ludes songwriting.

And Realism does see us escape from the electric guitar clutches and back to quieter and far more expensive pieces of instrumentation. One writer compared this album to something older from their catalog, and that's fair, stylistically. But I'm afraid that Stephin has regressed too far back into his unintellectualized, innocent youth to write short, simple chordal maneuvers with even easier lyrics that would make the Black Eyed Peas roll their eyes. I'm overdramatizing just a bit, but in the end, I'm more than a little disappointed that we've forgotten how far we'd come.

And Realism isn't even an honest title. This album is draped with the same dreamy cityscape backdrop behind its themes of love and loss and longing that has always provided the band's raison d'être. It's not like Stephin's newest hit song is ever going to be, "In All Honesty, I'm Really Quite Content", but why pretend this is something it's not. Maybe because the last few records, 69 Love Songs, i and Distortion had that gimmick around them. True, there's no gimmick here. There's also no substance. Maybe that's why the stick figure girl on the cover is empty.

But there are some keepers. "Seduced And Abandoned" is a quaint harpsichord led waltz. It returns to its chorus after every verse, which is usually enough to make me believe that we're just wasting time. But here, it feels like a sing-along. Like we're supposed to be picking up more court jesters each time. And the last track, "From A Sinking Boat" is a simple folk drone. Like a sea shanty with its accordion. About a letter author writing his vows before the waves overtake him. Grab those, but know that your percentage of fun is much higher on 69 Love Songs. (2.5 of 5 stars)

Seduced and Abandoned - The Ma...

Owen Pallette - Heartland

...or maybe the artist is Final Fantasy... it depends on where you're getting your product. Owen has had some issues with the video game people, so it seems like iTunes is just getting the inevitable out of the way. Owen wants to surely make his own name anyway.

Your first inclination is to make the Rufus Wainwright comparisons. Owen's voice often has an operatic quality and there's a grand baroque pop sensibility making the thing fierce as all get out. The strings are often quite overpowering, but I also like that quality about Rufus. But that all dissipates after track three.

A difference is that Owen layers all of his songs rich overlayer with an electronic subtext. The Philharmonic playing along to a drum machine and synthesized chords. That part didn't work for me, nor did the parts where Owen tones it down to Beck-mumble level. It became less mopey-cool and just dynamicless, which is a word I just made up. His monotone can reach ridiculous levels, like on "The Great Elsewhere", which sounds like Christopher Cross got an industrial hard on.

And like all orchestral pop "composers", Owen breaks out his inner-Brian Wilson to make a Pet Sounds influenced "Lewis Takes Action". It's got all the string plucks and melody crossfading of "God Only Knows", but without the warmth of the Brothers.

It didn't even take me 3/4th of the record to determine that Owen is little more than Adult Contemporary for the hipster crowd. Pitchfork can suck 86% of my dick.

It was right about the time of this realization that the most exciting track came up. "Flare Gun", as an instrumental, would be a great Bond theme song. Even Owen's placid/I-just-woke-up vocal doesn't weigh it down. He could stand to hire Shirley Bassey though. Far too little too late, though. (2 of 5 stars)

Katharine McPhee - Unbroken

How committed am I to this concept of listening to a newly released album every week? Enough to have to choose between some rapper's back-up singer, a New Zealand hardcore band, or this - an American Idol cast-off.

I have no idea what would distinguish Katharine from any other white girl pop singer whose name isn't Kelly, but I'll give her this- it's produced right. It's not over the top with Timbaland beats and pop excess. It's more adult contemporary pop. A song co-written by McPhee even has a Alicia Keys feel (missing some soulful vocal). "Surrender" would not be out of place thematically from my own Xmas release.

There's lots of piano, acoustic guitar, some light strings. Decibels rarely exceed balladry. The songwriting quality varies. A good minor chord riff in "Faultline" gives us an achy chorus, but then is immediately followed by the rudimentary "Anybody's Heart". "Lifetime" is trying to be cute and Feist-y, but ends up sounding silly with the breathy hook and the repetitive word verses.

I had to listen to something. It could have been worse (2 of 5 stars)

The Best Songs of 2009

Best Of 2009

While the playlist above says 1-10, it's actually in "Countdown" order, so that the best song is last. Also, it's important to note that KISS is stingy with their on-line finds, so just know that "I'm An Animal" should be on this list too. Let's begin. (song titles link to lyrics / artist links to awesome youtube videos)

10. No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - Them Crooked Vultures
The first of FIVE side-projects on the list. This one is by far the dirtiest. The tale of emotionless people having selfish filthy baseless sex. Full of clever entendres- single, double, and the rare trois entendre, the main draw is the full stoner jam. If you're not convinced at first, stick around to around till the end for the song to really deliver the full fist.

9. I Do Not Hook Up - Kelly Clarkson
I stopped being embarrassed of my love for Kelly a couple of albums ago. And its hard not to agree with me once you realize that she is singing directly to me on this one. Someone who will nurse this poor boy back to health from the mess left by the others before her. Perfect for a victim-card-playing drama queen like myself. Plus, how do you escape that hook?

8. Future In The Past - Chickenfoot
A real "kitchen sink" song. The last track on an awesome album, they really just tackle what the hadn't already on the rest. But like the rest of the album, the song is very cohesive. All parts moving equally. Sammy doesn't over-yelp, Joe doesn't over-shred, etc. It's got a really early '70s vibe, like Mountain or Cream. The track starts off with a near-ripoff of "Thank You" before quickly jumping to a swamp blues riff. Next movement goes into some middle east jungle boogie before ending on a huge arena-rock jam. It's simple- the points are not deep, but I still get the goose bumps.

7. Cornerstone - Arctic Monkeys
A pathetic story really. Rock star gets all the tail in the world and always blows it by asking if he can call them your name. We all have our days of pining and shouldn't be especially proud of it, but Alex Turner has a real way of describing his surroundings that brings a realness to the tale.

6. A Whole Lot Better - Brendan Benson
Simple pop awesomeness. I actually was not impressed with Brendan's album in whole, but this first song sticks in my head in a way that Paul McCartney was always trying to do in Wings, but failed. Plus, I like the indecisiveness of the song's protagonist. "I fell in love with you and out of love with you and back in love with you all in the same day" Exactly. Us crazies gotta stick together.

5. Peacemaker - Green Day
I thought in general, that Green Day's latest album was an attempt to capitalize on the stupid crazy huge (and deserved) success of American Idiot. It's still about youthful alienation and government control. Fine. But it's not as cohesive or hooky and there was just not enough reason to continue down the EXACT same path. Having said that, "Peacemaker" is high water mark in Green Day's creativity. Still tip-tapping on their punk roots but adding what, samba? I'm surprised Ennio Morricone is not a co-writer.

4. 15 - Marilyn Manson
No I'm not kidding. Manson very famously got dumped by Evan Rachel Wood in 2008. A so he makes an album filled with anger and disappointment. Typical. Then- he caps it off by ending with the most depressive thing this side of Joy Division. It's not "childish", but it is completely regressive of a dude with a broken heart. It's when a man really starts to admit that he needs things. Then he gets particularly stalky and dark. It's probably the best song of his career.

3. White Shoes - Conor Oberst & The Mystic Valley Band
No real band on this one, but that's the official album artist. It's hard to say why I love this song so much. I generally like songs that mean specific things to me. This one, with its oblique lyrics and loose folk strumming can take me in a different direction each time I hear it. When Conor returns to the quote, "Anything you wanna do" I get to pretend. Even though I do have that desperation, I get to pretend that I have the commitment to follow through with such a request.

2. Hang You From The Heavens - The Dead Weather
This one is straight up about one of the most awesome drum licks in the history of rock. Jack White rarely misses his mark and this is no exception. Power and thick sticky goo all over this riff. The singer Alison, often left me not believing her on the album. But on this song, even though I really don't like any pain in my pleasure, I'd still let her drag me by the hair anywhere.

1. Aeon - Antony & the Johnsons
If the voice doesn't break your heart while at the same time bringing you a spiritual awakening, then I can't help you. Let's do something differently. Let's take our power back.

The Flaming Lips - The Dark Side Of The Moon

Before delving into this review, let me make a couple of admissions. One, I don't really care for the Flaming Lips. Yes, they're inventive and weird and they're not stagnant to any one musical idea. I can respect their existence I just don't listen to them all that much.

Second, and I said this to the Smithereens a couple of years ago (and they keep doing), what's this bullshit about covering an entire album. What makes you think that you can re-record one of the biggest, most important classics in rock history and bring anything to it that sounds like your own or unique? Why, if given the choice, would anyone listen to your version? But then I learn that Henry Rollins is involved, so I give it at least one spin. Let's see if Wayne has an answer...

For me? Not so much. Sure, Wayne and his blotting buddies change some stuff around here and there. The first quarter of the record, for example, is quite crunchier than Pink's original. "Any Colour You Like" dials up the funk to a much fuzzier level. "Money" is creeped out with updated electronic sounds and tweaked vocals, which I think undercut the smooth R&B walking bass coolness of the original.

My fave from the original is the "Brain Damage/Eclipse" conglomerate. Here, the Lips dial down the Damage to a hushed church organ, and do not even play the guitar riff at all. The Eclipse is punked out, aside from Wayne's vocals, which never waver from his standard tin can chalkboard murmur.

The highlight of the album is "The Great Gig In The Sky". The instrumental is faithful to the power of the original. Taking Clare Torry's place on the wailing vocal is, oddly enough, Peaches, a weirdo obnoxious singer known for the youtube hit, "Fuck The Pain Away". To her credit, she delivers a great vocal, as you can hear below.

But at the same time, even with some knob twisting, all the lyrics and melodies are the same. The arrangements are basically faithful. There's nothing ironic here to laugh at. So it comes to, how do you like your psychedelic rock? Classic or Neue Indie? (3 of 5 stars)

The Great Gig In The Sky [feat...

The Willowz - Everyone

The Willowz, whom I have only otherwise known from the Eternal Sunshine soundtrack, is not unlike the Black Lips cd that was just in my car. Garage rock, not as psychedelic>; and the drums were often recorded with the most echo possible.

It's not treading much deeper water than that soundtrack 6 or so years ago. It does seem like they're exploring melody a little more. Also, it looks like singer Richie Follen has come out of some shell, or maybe the producer decided just to get bolder, because he's much more dynamic and much further out in the mix. It's a good thing. It's little more than punk wailing, but but Richie turns left when you expect a right sometimes, and it becomes more interesting.

"I Know" for example, is quite clean. It could be Kings Of Leon at their most raucous. "Destruction" and "Repetition" too are more melodic and upbeat and ripe for a party jam. "Jimmy James" on the other hand is for us beer swilling bastards who want to push over a nerd. If I had to choose, my bully-pulpit in the garage rockness of this album is better served on "Twenty Five" which awesomely adds a subtle barroom piano sounds to follow the chords.

For a swift kick in the Wha-Just-Happened, the Willows pull a damn near Rolling Stonescover with the misspelled, "No Heros". It's got soul, and by "soul", I mean some horns. Definitely worth a listen.

And at 25:34, it's the perfect album length for the new decade. My main complaints with albums that could've been much better is that they tried to max the cd capacity to get people to feel more of a value. Bullshit. The value comes more in this package, where more of your songs are worth hearing. And the Willowz deliver in great style. They have almost completely shed the notion of Jack White late-comers and have shelled out some great West Coast sweaty garage anthems.(4 of 5 stars)

30 Seconds To Mars - This Is War

"Here we are at the start. I can feel the beating of our hearts."

This is a lyric from "Vox Populi" off the latest 30StM record. Which is track 8 of a 12 track collection. So, no Jared, we are not at the start. Timing is only one of your problems.

You know how pretty girls can go on and on with some fucked up story that she heard on Oprah but is currently getting totally wrong- and no one stops her or corrects her because she's beautiful? Jared Leto is that beautiful girl just getting it wrong.

Like song titles.

"Night Of The Hunter"
"Kings And Queens"
"Closer To The Edge"
"Search And Destroy"
"Stranger In A Strange Land"

Jesus, is this the lost Ratt album?

The themes of all the songs revolve around the concept of rallying the troops of the downtrodden kids to overcome their evil oppressive overlords. There are youth choirs ALL over the record to drive the point home that, "we will need you to sing this part at the concert."

Now, having bitched about that portion of the production, I'll call it more of a band decision. The production otherwise, delivered very purposefully by U2 collaborators Steve Lillywhite and Flood, is the best part of the record. I can appreciate that the Letos want to sound grandiose and "epic" and the producers delivered on what they were paid for. But when every song is trying to be its own "Jesus Of Suburbia" or "The Black Parade" or "Use Somebody", then no, this is not "war"- it's dodgeball at best.

I'm coining a new music genre for Jared Leto now. Pass it on. "Cheesmo" or "Cheesy Emo". It's the only way I can describe Leto's songwriting. I, for one, do not believe that Jordan Catalano has some overwrought hostility for the holy evil of the organized church. I'm saying people don't, I just don't believe he does. And whoever does can describe their emotions certainly way less insipidly than Jared does. "Looking for Jesus/Get on your knees" and "I'm guilty of treason/A Vatican son".

In "100 Suns", he speaks of believing in nothing, not several things that are somehow paired together. And it makes not a lick of sense. I assume he was going for "...except our love". But instead, he says, "but the beating of our hearts"- which is just a biological function. How can you believe in that if you don't believe "in the earth"? Answer that one before the narrarator destroys you.

There are too many lyrical faux pas to take seriously. And I've seen the band live. Jared is especially engaging and lively and oh so very beautiful. And he may have the utmost intention of relating to those kids that he's trying to help. But the failure comes from pandering to a teen mentality, or being too stupid to know how to communicate to them on a greater level. Someone needs to interrupt this guy's story. (1.5 of 5 stars)