Beach House - Bloom

I knew I would regret this as soon as I saw the glowing review on Pitchfork. That hipster shit has never reflected my tastes. But, I've heard some other things that their previous releases, while growingly successful, seemed lazy to other people. And that this one is more fully realized collection with wider-scoping production.

I still call bullshit.

The same ethereal-voice Casio-tone synthesizer is in play from beginning to the bitter fucking end. And Victoria's wispy vocal is so boring, it makes Carly Simon sound like Lemmy. I don't know how much more I can say about how little this album has to offer.

If this were just a dull delivery with some diamonds-in-the-rough songwriting, then I'd be more forgiving and at least two-star it. But no. Take for example, "The Hours". They dream up some lyric, "Can I wait the hours until you find me?" like some Castlevania princess. And then just build lines around other words that rhyme with "hours". "Climb up to the tower" / "Violence in the flowers". Don't get me wrong- lots of pop music does get trite with their rhymes. Good pop does it well. Beach House just don't try.

And a hidden bonus track? Really? Is this 1995? Fuck you. (1 of 5 stars)